The greatest doctor of them all, Dr. Seuss, of course, once wrote:
Did I ever tell you that Mrs. McCave Had twenty-three sons, and she named them all Dave?
Well, she did. And that wasn't a smart thing to do. You see, when she wants one, and calls out "Yoo-Hoo! Come into the house, Dave!" she doesn't get one. All twenty-three Daves of hers come on the run!
So, suppose you're name is Dave, and you're walking down the street, minding your own business, when somebody approaches you and asks you for your name. Dave, you tell him and that Somebody scrunches his face in thought and then says:"Nope. Too many Daves... Find yourself another name buddy. Dave isn't your name."
You have several options and you go for the obvious one: "Who the hell are you to decide?"
"Simple," says Somebody. "I'm a name expert. I know. Look," he then shoves a mobile phone under your nose, "I have the social media accounts to prove it". Indeed, he has millions of followers, which probably does make him an expert.
You're in quite the pickle right now.
"Ehhh..." you bleat lamely, "I have a birth certificate, a driver's license, a lot of people who will vouch for my Dave-ness..."
"Fake," clips Somebody, "Dave-washed, biased. We don't fall for this sort of cheap tricks."
At this point you decide to drop everything and make it your life mission to prove to this idiot that your name is Dave. You start your own media accounts, find professors who will back your claim, launch great campaigns and scream bloody murder when anyone dares believe Somebody and not you.
And that is, in my opinion, a mistake.
You have just made your own, personal name - the one your parents gave you - a matter of debate. You have just made it legitimate to doubt the fact that your name is Dave and you have also committed yourself to a fight that will actually decide the fate of that name.
Now listen up, Dave. The only person who can really decide what your name is, is you, because you will not turn around whenever somebody (or Somebody) calls you another name. That's it. It's non- negotiable, it's not up to anyone but you, and therefore, it is also non-fightable, since no amount of force can change who you believe you are. If you believe.
"Thank you," you tell Somebody. "I understand you believe Jews are horrible and evil by nature, that they're not really a people, that they're white-supremacists, and that their food sucks. Good for you. I don't believe all that, and this, to me, is non-negotiable and non-fightable. The rest of it, is. This isn't. If you have anything else to say, I'll be happy to hear."
"What the hell do you mean!" explodes Somebody. "You're beyond reproach!? beyond criticism!? you don't abide by the rules of other human beings?!"
"Of course I'm not." you respond levelly. "You can criticize me, punish me, if you think you can and should, ban me from the national Dave Club, and revoke my Daving license. It will hurt me, of course, but it will never, ever, change my basic belief of who I am. My name is Dave. It's a good and legitimate name and I will not change it. Even if you kill me, my tombstone will still say: "Here lays Dave". You understand? That's mine, in my own personal head, and YOU don't get to decide what happens there, no matter what amount of force you use. Now do your worse."
Yup, this might end up being ugly, and maybe that's not something you feel like wading into. You don't have too. Simply change you're name. If nobody remembers you were ever Dave, then all is good.
But if you want to keep that bloody name, stop fighting about it. It's yours. No argument or fight can take it away from you. Get it through your thick skull, Dave.
Some things are too precious to fight for.
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