Okay Genius, what's the Plan?

It doesn't matter which side of the Zionist political map you are. When it comes to the Israeli Palestinian conflict, at some point, someone will throw up their hands in the air, and in an exasperated voice will ask you: "Okay, genius, so what do YOU suggest that we do?"

Nowadays, it seems, the only two acceptable answers for this question are "Give them a state!" or "Kill every last one of them!" and the louder you shout those answers, the smarter you are considered.

Personally, I would argue that both options are not viable at the moment. Both us and them have made sure that we can't even sit in the same room without trying to kill each other - which currently takes a diplomatic solution off the table - and if we try to kill them all, then Israel would cease to exist. There may be an entity with borders and a flag, but it will not be the Jewish state of Israel. It would be something not fit to be counted as a part of the human realm.

Naturally, at this point, everybody should ask, again: "Okay, genius, so what do YOU suggest that we do?"

And the answer is simple: We start learning Arabic. All of us. Starting at kindergarten, and ending when we finish high school, when we speak read and write Arabic so well, that most people will not be able to distinguish us from the real thing. Pardon, we will be the real thing.

First, let's all take a minute to let some steam out: "What?! That's the genius plan? That's how we solve the unsolvable problem? By learning the language of those terrorists? Rewarding them? Adopting their horrible culture?" Or better yet: "Yeah sure. Go play teacher. Let the adults take care of this".

It's perfectly understandable. The human mind, in general, is both lazy and impatient: Presenting people with an effort which is both indefinite and time-consuming, without promising them an instant reward - like a "New Middle East" or "A Terror-Free Region" - is a sure way to lose their interest.

So as I said. Disdain for the weird demand that we all become Arab, at least to some extent, is understandable, but at this point, Not acceptable or viable. not Anymore. It's time to wake up: What we've been doing until now, was not, is not and will not be the solution. It's time we start addressing reality instead of stomping our feet and hoping that the next round of death and destruction or instant-peace-making will get us out of this mess.

I hope it won't take anybody by surprise if I state that on a very basic, visceral level, we sympathize more with people, or even animals, that look and behave like us. This is why we find it easier to step on a cockroach than a puppy; it's why 99% of Sci-Fi depicts aliens as humanoids; it's why most Westerns find the fact that white Ukrainians are dying more disturbing than when Arabs or Africans are dying; it's why we resent much (not all, true) of what is Arab or Muslim, and why Arabs and Muslims in the Middle East mostly resent us. Yes, I know. It doesn't account for everything. People still kill their own, for money, for politics, for passion, for fun... But in the grand scheme of things, it's much easier to resort to fighting when the other is different from you. It makes it seem more justified and reasonable. Hence the constant demonetization of the other at war-times: if all Zionists are white colonialists then killing them is okay; if all Palestinians are primitive terrorists at heart, then killing them isn't bad; we're actually doing humanity a favor.

Understandable. Not acceptable or viable. Not anymore.

In the intricate battlefield of knowing friend from foe (IFF in the security lingo: Identification Friend Foe), Arabic is queen. Arabs adore their language, they're proud of it, they love the sound of it and the dedicated Muslims consider the Quran Arabic a real-life manifestation of god. They're not wrong by the way (don't know about god, but the rest is true). Arabic is fun. It's warm, lively, colorful, and puts you in an Arab state of mind, which is not a bad state of mind to be in, most times. Well, no more than Israeli, American, Swedish or Venezuelan state of mind. And all that is to say, that when Arabs speak Arabic, they feel at home. They know the ins and the outs, the social norms, the complex context of interaction and who is from Jenin, Damascus, Gaza or Cairo. And of course, who's the Hebronite you can make fun of... And as Israel's residents and neighbors, they never feel at home with us. Ever.

There is of course the whole matter of the "Jewish State" which will forever mean "Ours, not yours", but the question is, whether that would be so hard to swallow, if when you look at those Jews, especially if you're not too religious, and can't see the big difference between you and them. How easier to swallow would it make the Jewish state? I am not the final authority on this, but I say A LOT; much more than you would think.

So imagine the Israeli PM, 50 years from now. She's quite hawkish - not the hippie leftist I would like to see in that position - but she did have some Arab friends back in the university. Why? Because banter actually came easier in Arabic, and with her being 50% Mizrachi (Mid-East heritage) some of the "others" looked more "Jewish" than her. It didn't last long, but after that, she couldn't quite hate them as much as she used to (not to mention that it is very likely that some of her ministers would be Arab).

50 years from now (hoping we all make it until then), a car may be stuck on the road to the Jordan border crossing. A Jewish driver stops to offer help, and sees he got stuck with an Arab. He doesn't like Arabs too much, but he can't turn back now, after offering his help. So he switches to Arabic and the other guy becomes uncertain... What is this creature? Is one of his parents an Arab? What's his deal? and he goes back to Jordan, reading the Israeli newspaper "al-Manach" on the way, not even knowing it's Israeli. And back at home he sits with the guys on the porch, telling them those weird Zionists just got weirder... maybe in a good way.

And it could be much better. Israeli politicians will start interviewing for Arab networks (It does happen today but is so cringeful I can't even watch it). Account owners will argue, hiss and spit on social media in Arabic, taking some time to understand who's who. In the big cities, Jews and Arabs will start getting drunk and having casual sex with each other: not because of global peace and love, but because they will be young and stupid and will do what young and stupid people do: have fun without asking too many questions. IT WILL NOT BE THE SOLUTION TO ALL OF OUR PROBLEMS!!!! But it will be a good start. The Idiots, on both sides, who think the "others" are insects from another planet, will find it much harder to do so. Then we might be able to talk about living together.

Hey! hey! hey! Mister! Wait a minute! What about Hebrew? What about the Torah? What about OUR cultural identity.

Hebrew will always be there. A formal language of the state of Israel, the language of the Torah and Judaism and probably the language most Jewish Israelis will use when they talk to each other. My guess is that it will also become an elitist badge, for both Arabs and Jews, marking those belonging to the state of Israel. It might actually become an asset rather than a liability. And if you don't believe me, Ask the great Egyptian Doctor and Philosopher Musa Ibn Abdallah. Don't know who that is? Look him up. I promise you it will be interesting.

This is an excerpt from one of the most important texts ever written by a Jewish scholar. It is called Dallalat Haerin (That's Arabic for "More Nevochim")) and the alphabet is Hebrew but the language - the original language - is Arabic.

Lastly, the technicalities. How? When? Where? and who the hell is going to take this massive, indefinite endeavor upon themselves when nobody can really say how well it will work out? Writing a blog post is all very well, but spending billions and decades on a "Maybe"? We only have so much resources.

Well I don't know how much money it will take, but I can give you a ballpark number. Take the armament budget of out next adventure in Gaza, Lebanon or god knows where else. Divide it by 10, and now spend it on teaching Arabic. I promise you, we will still have some change when it's all done.

The only problem, I guess, would be teachers. We're talking about teaching Arabic on a native level, of course, and we will need a lot of native Arabic speakers for this huge project. Arabs, lots of Arabs. Where the hell are we going to find them...

But non of this is really a problem. The only problem is the will to take it on ourselves. It's doable, but not in the foul, entrenched, hysterical mood we've sunk into. Jews, Zionists, Israelis. We are all at our wits end and we are just becoming more and more confident, that if we kick harder, scream louder and bomb bigger, the fear will go away. I'm pretty sure most readers didn't even make it through the first paragraph. Flooded with Adrenaline and pumped full of hate, they find the thought of accommodating, rather than annihilating, inconceivable. Are they wrong? I think they are, but there are no assurances. Not for their way, and not for the way I am offering either. Life just doesn't work that way. All I can tell you is that I served in the Special Forces for several years, and we had a saying there, borrowed from the legendary British Special Air Service (SAS): WHO DARES WINS.

We've cowered long enough behind our walls and weapons. It's time to dare.